Looking back with Jac: Captivated by Max

My primary aim is to capture the memories of the older members of our community, in the hope these interviews will preserve history for families and enrich all of our lives as readers.

I am inspired by the words of Melchor Lim: "Listen to your elders’ advice. Not because they are always right, but because they have more experience of being wrong“.

For my debut column, I spoke with long-time local and now Navorina Nursing Home resident Max Hillier.

•••

I was so excited to see Max that not even the strongest, time consuming, essential safety measures to enter the Navorina facility could dampen my enthusiasm.

Once through the double doors, I walked the halls taking in the surrounds and the constant greetings from staff and residents alike.

Upon arriving at Max's room I walked through the door and was immediately greeted with a wide, cheeky grin.

This essentially was a signal to strap myself in; this was going to be one hell of a ride.

From the moment I sat down our conversation was free flowing, and I could tell Max was as grateful for my interest as I was for his time.

And so the story began.

I had an array of questions to ask Max to prompt his recollections, but it only took one for him to open up and keep talking.

I asked Max, "where would you like to start?“.

His answer was short and sweet: "At the beginning.“

On June 24, 1928, Max Hillier entered the world in Melbourne, the son of Sylvia Blake and Darcy Hillier.

Sylvia was a young mother and Darcy left the family when Max was only six months-old, so his grandmother Ethel Murphy took him under her wing - along with his sister Peggy.

She moved the children to Mathoura.

"Ethel raised us both, and had her own child as well," Max said.

"She was a battler and did everything for us.

"I was always treated as though I was the lesser child, and this particular Christmas I knew there was a flash pencil case gift and one less flash.

"I also knew that her son would receive the flash one and me the lesser, so I turned the tide," he said with a giggle, chuffed at his tenacity.

"I became Santa. I got up early and changed the labels on the gifts, and boy did my grandmother get a surprise when we opened them," still giggling at the memory.

The giggles began to fade as Max's thoughts drifted to that of his father.

"I've never had any contact with my father," he said with tears welling in his eyes.

"Never. It bothers me, but if I had the chance I would talk with him and I would have so much to tell him," he said with a forgiveness in his heart that was overwhelming and caused tears to well in my own eyes.

We sat in silence for a moment, taking in the emotions as I told him of the loss of my mother and the effect that had on me.

We soon gathered ourselves and continued the journey, turning attention to his schooling years in Mathoura.

"I didn't like school that much, as I wasn't very clever,“ he said.

I replied to him reassuring him that he must be clever, "as you have worked hard all your life and raised a beautiful family“.

He looked at me with the cheeky grin that always implies something naughty will follow.

He raised one eyebrow, tilted his head and said "that has nothing to do with being clever“.

I knew where he was going with his reply, so I quickly gathered myself, hid the internal fit of laughter that was swirling inside me and said "let's move on.“

The next phase of Max's life is filled with pride and pure joy.

The first job Max took on was a beekeeper.

It entailed lots of travel, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

He is most proud of his time at the saw mills, starting at a small mill at Picnic Point and working as a foreman at Gulpa Sawmill in Deniliquin until his retirement at age 65.

"I did any job that was required of me.

"Benching was the hardest job in the mill, and I was good at that.

"I've had a couple of horrible injuries through work that required long hospitalisation and rehab, including being hit in the face by a winch.“

It was while living in Mathoura that Max met and fell in love with a publican's daughter.

Barb Burgess crossed his path, and he never looked back.

"I never drank or smoked, but fell in love with a publican's daughter," Max said laughing.

The family later sold the pub and moved to Altona in Melbourne.

After visiting Barb there as much as he could, Max said Barb eventually posed a question to him: "If dad lets us get married, will you stay in Altona?“.

Max immediately said "yes“.

"I wrote a letter to my mum letting her know we were going to get married in a civil ceremony at a registry office," Max said.

"She wrote back to me saying 'only people who have something to hide go to those places’.

"So in 1953 we were married at Altona Methodist Church, as we had nothing to hide," he said with a slight grin.

"Barb looked beautiful. It wasn't a flash dress, just a beautiful one.“

After a stint in Mathoura the couple eventually settled in Deniliquin to raise their family - two boys, Lee and Greg.

“Two big, six foot tall boys we had,” Max said bursting with pride.

When I looked at Max to get this part of his story, the grin had returned.

My eyes were darting wondering what kind of stories might follow, and I was looking for options to stem the flow of what may be coming.

Before I could find a diversion plan, Max was off.

"Barb had a shocking first birth with Greg.

"She was in the Echuca hospital and I'm not sure she ever got over that one.

"Our second son Lee was also born in Echuca, and Matron Baker was on duty.

"Everyone in Echuca knew Matron Baker, or had heard of her.

“She was in charge of everything and was very well regarded.

"For Lee's birth she sat on Barb's belly; she did whatever it took."

Having had children myself, my mind was still trying to picture someone sitting on my belly and what may have occurred as a result of it.

I was quickly snapped back to the story as Max's recollections were now gaining momentum, as this was the most cherished part of his story.

His love for Barb and his family was evident in the way he spoke.

His emotions, and the tears that kept welling but kept at bay, by the next thought that followed.

"She wanted a girl you know, badly. But I just couldn't let her go through all that again.

“I was scared of what could happen.

"We happily raised our boys and Barb worked for 20 years in charge of the South School canteen.

"She loved socialising with the teachers, parents and students."

In a number of splinter conversations that came from the conversation, we happily discussed our families and noted many similarities.

Max now has a number of grandchildren and great- grandchildren, who he evidently loves deeply - the same love he had for all of his family.

It was demonstrated in the long pauses we took, each time mustering his energy and recollections but never failing to remember a name - no matter how hard it was for him to find.

Considering on my best day I struggle to remember what I was doing the day prior, I was in awe of Max's resilience and determination.

Barb is the love of his life, and you don't have to be talking to Max for long before more stories about her arrive.

"Barb became unwell and had many hospital visits, some I couldn't get there for a few hours or days later.

“I hated that she had to be alone for some of those times.

"Life hasn't been the same without her, but I am so grateful that I found the love of my life.

“We had a great life together with our family.

"Time has passed so quickly.“

These days, Max is kept busy by his friends at Navorina and regular visits from family.

"I like the staff and all the activities," he said.

It prompted me to bring up his involvement in the St Patrick’s Day activities, where he was photographed in a partial leprechaun costume.

“They got me there didn't they,” he laughed.

I didn't want the interview to end. I could have sat and listened to Max and his stories all day.

There were many more than I could fit in this retelling, and others that had me in fits of laughter but could not put in print.

If you bump into him out and about I'm sure he would be more than happy to repeat them.