It was 18 years ago when Fiona Waters first penned her book ‘Finding Granny’.
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It was a cathartic exercise mostly, but also a way for Fiona to explain to her own children why their Granny - Fiona’s mother Cathy Cleary - was “always so sick” and couldn’t get out of bed.
It’s based on what the family was seeing as Cathy fell deeper and deeper into a depression spiral over five years, before experimental psychosurgery changed her life.
Complete with illustrations from her mother-in-law and Deniliquin artist Esther Waters, Fiona set about finding a publisher for her book as soon as it was finished.
It was never picked up, but it’s been used by the family as a teaching aid ever since.
Fiona was always adamant it should be widely available to help people adapt to inevitable changes in their family dynamic, so she recently had the book self-published instead.
With the help of Little Steps Publishing, her book is available online from this week and at a few locations around Deniliquin.
Making the timing of the release more poignant for the family is that Esther has been diagnosed with dementia.
Her family are now seeing similar withdrawals in their Nana that they saw almost two decades earlier with their Granny.
“I wrote the book when my son Charlie was four,” Fiona said.
“We would go to Cowra to visit my parents, and they could see their Granny was getting worse.
“Charlie asked me one day, ‘why isn’t Granny getting out of bed?’.
“Writing it was a therapeutic exercise for me, but also a way to explain what was happening with mum.
“I had Esther do the paintings for illustrations, and the character in the book really is a mix of both mum and Esther.
“It can help explain not only the effects of depression, but dementia, illness from cancer ... any of those big things that happen in an adult’s life that kids don’t fully understand.
“Being a teacher, I made sure to add a handy list on how to help children cope with depression in someone close to them.
“And I added a special message to both ‘Granny’ and ‘Nana’ in the back before having it published.”
Cathy has long used Fiona’s then unpublished book as a tool when speaking to groups about her experiences with depression and the experimental surgery.
“Pat (Cathy’s husband) and I were still living in Cowra then, on a sheep farm, and one day I just started feeling depressed.
“To me, it was like everything went grey all of a sudden, and nothing excited me. I didn’t feel like doing anything.
“My grandchildren have always been the light of my life, but it started to feel like it was just too much effort to do anything with them.
“You feel as though you’re in an invisible barrier, and you just can’t get out.
“It really is a sickness - it’s biochemical.”
Cathy’s doctors tried everything - all types of medications, electroshock therapy and even transcranial magnetic stimulation - but nothing was working.
Overtaken by the depression, Cathy was willing to give up. Her doctors were not.
They pushed for her to be one of eight people to take part in what was then a new trial.
A device was fitted in Cathy’s chest and connected to her brain, sending continual but non-aggressive charges for neurostimulation.
“I was lucky my doctors would not give up,” Cathy said.
“I had been going to Sydney for treatment regularly, and then came the trial of this device.
“When they turned it on, it was like the lights had been switched on again.
“The surgeon, Paul Fitzgerald, turned it on and it was unusual and I could hear all these sounds. I had just started to feel better, and then I felt worse and everything turned black.
“I thought it hadn’t worked, and then he said ‘oh, I just switched it off’.
“It’s been a miracle, and 18 years later they’re still only just starting to look at it (as a treatment option).”
Fiona has been invited by Edward River Library to hold a reading of her book today at 3.30pm.
Community members are welcome, and books will be available for purchase. Fiona and Esther will be on hand to sign copies.
The book is also available to purchase locally from the Deniliquin Peppin Heritage Centre, Crossing Cafe, Leaves & Vines Nursery, Deniliquin Newsagency & Bookstore and Edward River Art Society gallery.
Online sales are through Amazon, and Fiona’s own website.
• The Pastoral Times has one signed copy of Fiona’s book to give away to a reader. Simply email your name and contact details to zoe.mcmaugh@denipt.com.au, before 9am Monday. We’ll announce the winner in Tuesday’s edition.
• Anyone requiring crisis support can contact Accessline on 1800 800 944, Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14, BeyondBlue on 1300 224 636 or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800. Resources and pathways to help are also available at www.denimentalhealth.org.au.